it's snow cool

Eric called the kids and I over to look at this today.  It is the open back door from our garage to the backyard.  The snow was driven up against the door with such force that it left the impression of the door in the drift.  Pretty cool.

and off to school they go (four months later….)

It is January 9th and I'm blogging about the first day of school.  Pictures of the kids in shorts, green grass, blue sky…. those were the days.

The good news is that this is my last "catch up post".  After this I am back on track - finally!  The other good news is that shorts, green grass and blue sky is only 5 (or 6…) months away.  Actually, for Mia and I it is only one and a half weeks away!!  I'll leave you in suspense until I blog about that later!

Wednesday, September 3 was the first day back at school.  Oh how very long ago it seems.  Maddy a senior (or here - in grade 12), Mia in grade 8 - her last year of middle school, Cade in his first year of middle school (grade 5) and Lucy in her last year of elementary ("early years" - grade 4).  I keep feeling older and older as the kids keep moving up.  Weird.  I wonder if there is a reason for that….

We did have our very own house to leave from this year.  That was kind of fun.  We had just moved in the weekend before and were still trying to get it a place to call home.  Sidewalk chalk on the driveway always helps…. although no mention about school starting this year (that happened last year, just so you know).

Some guy did not look so thrilled about the whole school starting back up again thing.  Not thrilled at all.  In fact, rather miserable.  We like to torture our children by giving them an edumacation.

The girls weren't quite as devastated, although they look happier than perhaps they were.  Or actually, they probably were happier than they pretended to be and their true joy just showed in the pictures.  I'm thinking that is closer to the truth.

And no, Maddy is not going to grade three.  Although sometimes I wish she were….

Off Mia goes.  There was no looking back this year either.  She couldn't have cared less if I was there snapping pictures of her.

Lucy on the other hand played the game well.  She ran away trying to get away from the camera. That's more like it!

There was even a rainbow in the sky after we dropped the kids off.  A symbol of good things to come, perhaps?

I, of course, also started back at work.  Actually, I started about two or three (don't remember) weeks before the kids did.  Most of it was getting the new K-6 library ready, but I did get to do some creativish things, like some chalkboard signs and stuff like that.

Perhaps it isn't that crazy writing this post now.  We just got back to school again this week after break. And in some ways it felt like this.  Especially if you take a look again at Cade's face.  That was a little more of a common express this past Monday.

Only 6 more months left.

death of a master

Yesterday I received some hard news.  A dream of mine is dead.

It really was amazing that it was still a possibility in the first place. 

You see, back in the day (the term, in my mind, always refers to "life before children"), I was working on my Masters of Divinity in Leadership and Management.  It was/is a 60 hr masters and I completed 42 hrs.  Then along came Maddy.

If you know anything about the Maddy-That-Was, and my life back then, you will not be shocked to know that I put completing my Masters on the back burner.  Then Mia, Cade and Lucy all came along, life happened, and priorities necessarily changed.  But I never stopped thinking about completing my Masters.  I had always hoped to be able to pick it back up and get it done.

In the last few years I have been in contact with Briercrest, where I have done my studies, trying to figure out a plan to get these last few classes completed.  The classes I still needed were not offered online and until we moved back to Canada, going to intensive classes didn't work for me.  So now I've been looking into it again.  One of the people there has been very diligent in trying to help me get a plan together to finish.

Until now.  The plan is over.

The accrediting association has just changed their policy and all course work needs to be completed within ten years.  So what that means is that all that work is just a heap of nothing in their eyes.  I would have to start completely over.

The masters is dead.

I had hoped for many many years that we might one day go back to Briercrest and work again.   I had envisioned working there and having a kid or two attend, living in the dorms, but bring friends over in the evenings or weekends.  The Student Life/Services area (or even Recruitment) has always drawn me, and I love the potential to positively influence so many kids, just ripe to learn and grow.  My Masters would have opened up many doors for this to happen.

Of course, I could start all over.  The amount of work, time and thousands of dollars is a bit of a discouragement, however.

I suppose that God has other plans.  And I know that His plans are good and to give me a hope and a future.  Maybe He'll still bring this one about in some crazy way.  In the meantime I will still grieve.  But I will hope.

reentry

A friend from my Life Group at church just sent me a link to the following article and asked me if I could relate to any of what was written.

Reentry - moving back to North America after living overseas

I read the article and started to bawl.  I could identify with pretty much everything said and I needed to read it.  Selfishly I wish everyone I know or who knows my family/kids could read it.

Moving back to North America was (and is) so much harder than moving overseas.  I felt like I was a whiny little sucky baby for feeling some of the things I felt and still - very strongly - feel.  What reassurance to know that I am not alone, nor am I crazy.  I will be visiting that blog often.

the wetlands - a hit

So I had almost completely written this post but was waiting to get a picture of the lyrics for the song that we are talking about below.  I still don't have it and don't even know if Lucy still has the sheet.  I need to root around in her room and see if I can find it.  The point is, that this could have been posted a month and a half ago since I am no further along with it than I was back then.  Shoot.

Way back when, on the 6th of November, Maddy decided to entertain us with with a lovely song.  A song of Lucy's.  A song Lucy and her group at school wrote for a project about the wet lands.  A song Lucy has entertained us with innumerable times already.

Maddy stole her lyric sheet and the little bitty four-stringed guitar (four strings because two broken) that our neighbour gave to Lucy, and broke into song as Lucy had done many times before.

It became a game of getting the guitar and lyrics away from Maddy.

And then it became an all-girl event with Mia helping.

It then became a oh-no-I-think-we-need-to-take-you-in-for-stitches event. 

Yup.  Somehow between all the wrestling and what-not, Lucy's lip got smashed on the floor and started bleeding like crazy.

Sure enough.  She needed stitches.  Poor Mia felt AWFUL.  She was quite torn up about it even though it was an accident of course.  She is a sweet, sensitive one.

I can't believe I didn't take a picture of her cutie-widdow-wip (translation - cute little lip) with the stitch in it.  I thought for sure I did but apparently I suck more than I even thought possible.

Sigh.

The least I can do is record the lyrics to the song here.  Sing to the tune of jingle bells:

We have since recorded Lucy's rendition of the song on my phone.  It is now my ring-tone.  You need to bring laughter into as much of life as possible!

a little more Christmas

Today I started packing up Christmas stuff.  More and more I get very excited about packing away Christmas stuff earlier.  There are still several things up as we are hosting our Life Group's Christmas party tomorrow - we need a little festivity - but when that is over, it is all coming down.  I love the decorating and all the lights and glitter but shortly after Christmas is over, I'm ready to move on with a house that is a little less full.

The rest of this holiday has been filled with a lot of reading - mostly done by Cade, playing Wii, playing with new toys and a lot of just relaxing and hanging out together.  It has been quite wonderful.  And right now, pause for a squeal of excitement……, it is snowing like crazy!!!!  I am still praying for a blizzard, but I really really really hope it happens during the regular school week instead of now during break or on a weekend.

Cade channeled his inner archeologist the other day and bust into one of his Smithsonian kits.  While many boys I know (thinking of two Californian nephews, in particular!) would basically take a sledgehammer to to the thing, Cade very patiently chiselled away, bit by bit, to unearth the treasures that awaited him.  He used the little brush to brush away dust and rubble.  He donned the provided safety goggles.  He put the block in a pan to keep the debris contained.  He carefully identified each gem that he found.  And he enjoyed it.

He has also blazed through books like nobody's business.  Sort of like how he went through farmer sausage today (that means he ate an awful lot of it - like a ridiculous amount!)  Kind of turning into a voracious reader type guy.  That was part of my goal for this holiday - to work on my probably 50+ want to read book list - but I haven't done much at all!  I think a librarian should get a paid month to stay home and read books, don't you?
I had Mia and Lucy organize my recipe binders today.  Pictures should have been taken as it was rather entertaining.  I put little signs up along the base boards with the different categories "fish", "sides", "cookies" - you get the picture.  And then they sorted them all into those categories.  After all the sorting was done, they put them in clear plastic sleeves and into the binders.  Cade wanted absolutely nothing to do with this job, so he cleaned two bathrooms instead.  Maddy was busy with an ocular migraine that was freaking us out, so she did nothing.

Today Mia started painting in her room and I did a bunch of spackling and touching up.  After the Christmas party I'm going to take on painting the dark grey wall in the living room.  Going white.  Or light grey. Or light blue.  Obviously I haven't decided.  But first it is going primer.

I finally took the photos of this year's ornaments.  I figured I better take them since I wanted to take the tree down!  So here they are:

Maddy ended up with two.  The first is a tricycle.  Now, Maddy already has a tricycle ornament from when she was two or something, but she needed a current one.  Her motto this year has been "third wheeling is a lifestyle".  This is because she constantly finds herself the third wheel with her friends and their boyfriends or want-to-be-boyfriends.  It is kind of hilarious how often it happens.  

The second one I just saw and thought I really should get as well.  It is a sushi roll.  Maddy works at the restaurant "Irori" and a large section of their menu is sushi, so it just fit.

Mia's ornament is the wild patterned elephant ornament that I bought at the Allume conference.  Mia now loves elephants (penguins are passé), purple - which the elephant has, and it is a cozy, cute and crazy animal all which is Mia completely.

Cade's ornament is a moose antler.  Just to be clear - not a real moose antler.  That might just be a little heavy and large for a tree ornament.  Just saying.  It would be awfully cool though.  Wouldn't mind at all getting my hands on one.  Anyway, this goes back to Cade's flock of moosen/meese thing.  And he seems to really like moose.  And he has pyjamas with moose on them.  And we read the book Hatchet where the moose rams the guy Brian into the lake and just about kills him (or maybe it is Brian's Winter, the sequel to Hatchet…).

Lucy's ornament is a "gymnastics girl", as Lucy would say.  No, she does not take gymnastics.  She hasn't even asked to take gymnastics, although she would probably like it.  But she is forever doing cartwheels, handstands, back bendy things and a few other things that look really fancy and gymnasticsy.  It doesn't stop.  Or at least not for long.  And its pretty cute.  And she seems pretty good (although what do I know?).  She is my gymnastics girl.

I'm still wanting to get a snowboarder one for Cade but I haven't found anything yet.  And I still have a list of ones to get for Mia from years past but can never seem to find the right things.  For some reason my ideas for ornaments for her are strangely uncommon.

And that's that.  I think we may be done here.

ask believe do

Parenting is exhausting.

If you are a parent, you already know this.  I certainly don't need to tell you.

If you are a pet owner and not a parent, let me save you from looking like a complete and utter moron:  No, you do not know what we mean.  Your dog or cat or pot bellied pig isn't even a fraction of what a real, live, living, breathing, emotion-weilding, sinful nature-filled human is.  There is no shame in admitting that you have no clue.  In fact, you'll be much more respected and admired for not trying to compare your pug to someone else's three year old.

Done with the rant.  For now.

I have no idea why God would bless me with four children.  Four.  Four or more children are for women who are those super-mom types.  You know them - they never raise their voice at any of their 16 children.  They homeschool them all.  The daughters all have their hair done in cute braids or curls or something sweet and pretty, and the boys all have clean fingernails.  All the kids are polite and well spoken - they look you in the eye, smile a real smile, say sir or ma'am…. all that nauseatingly nice stuff that we not-so-super parents wish our kids would do.

I yell way to much (I'm not even saying that I "raise my voice", because that would be a little too mild!).  My kids would be the biggest idiots if I tried to homeschool them.  I don't even try any more to help them with their homework.  That has always been a disaster, right from Kindergarten.  We won't even talk about braids, nails and please do not bring up manners.  At least that part I at least try to teach, most of the time.

It seems that at the end of almost every day I flop into bed and wonder what to do about ______ child because of __________.  They just take turns.  Often they don't even do that - they have the nerve to double up on issues in one day.  Do they have sibling meetings?  "Hey, lets all have issues today!  Forget this taking turns business."

Sigh.

I love all four of them so stinking much and I feel like I do them a disservice every day.  I want to be a good mother to them all and yet I keep messing up.  And I can't possibly be wise enough, strong enough, patient enough, knowledgeable enough….. you get the picture….. to raise them in the way I know is best.

But God does.

There is more comfort than you can ever imagine in that truth.  He not just invites, but longs for me to go to Him for all of those things: wisdom, strength, patience, knowledge and so much more.  He has it in abundance - more than humanly possible - and He is ready, willing and able to equip me with them for the task of raising these four amazingly beautiful kids that He has blessed me with.

Ask.  Believe.  Do.